First, we must remember that marriage was invented by God. Marriage started
with Adam and Eve. God had created Adam and later saw that he was alone and
declared, “It is not good for man to be alone.” This is when God made Eve. One
woman for one man. God did not make two women or another man. He made
one woman for Adam. This was his design, the way God designed marriage.
God made Eve to be a helper for Adam. The Hebrew word used for helper was
‘k’negdo’ which means ‘equal to him’. Thus, Eve was Adam’s helper and his
equal.

Another word used for helper was ‘ezer’. This word also was used to describe
God, thus it does not imply that the helper was inferior.

This was God’s design for marriage. One man and one woman who was to be the
man’s helper and equal.

When a man and a woman are married in out present time, they make promises
to each other, they make vows. For Christians, these vows are made before God
and because God is a witness to the promises, they should neve be broken. These
are very serious promises. The marital promises are usually about loving and
cherishing each other. One promise that should be added to modern day
weddings is ‘I will never divorce you’.

Divorce is now very common in all marriages, including Christian marriages. Many
see marriage as a contract and not a covenant. The legal, contractual marriage is
fairly easy to dissolve. All it takes is signatures. Some couples even go into
marriage with the thought that we can divorce if it does not work out. They will
stay married “as long as love shall last.” That is a weak promise. There is no
promise to try to work things out.

The promises of this contractual marriage take place in front of a judge, not God.
This means the participants do not have to be accountable to God, just another
human who is a stranger to both.

Humans, perhaps with Satan’s help, have perverted God’s plan for marriage. In
Mark 10:6-9 Jesus pointed out that God made humans male and female and that
a man shall leave his parents to be joined with his wife and become one and no
man should separate them. This is what Christians promise each other when they
marry.

The man and woman are united together in a Christian marriage. That means
they are glued together permanently. Unfortunately, it is sad when in a secular
marriage breaks up. It really only takes one person to end a marriage, to file for a
divorce. The couple seems to have little perseverance to cope with the trials that
pop up in life and non-Christians have little holding them together. They have
only a piece of paper. The contract.

The promises in a Christian marriage include being accountable to Jesus. The
promises include taking care of each other instead of demanding your spouse
takes care of you. It is more of ‘What can I do for you?” It is not ‘I want you to do
this for me’.

In a Cristian marriage there is willing sacrifice to the other. We surrender our
wills for the benefit of our spouse. When both spouses do this, there can be great
satisfaction and gratitude. If either spouse becomes selfish, the marriage can
become in danger of failing.

For Christians, the marriage is a covenant. This is very serious. The Hebrew word
of covenant, berith, implies drawing blood. This means that if it is broken,
shedding of blood will be involved. This is like the sacrifices of the Old Testament.
The marriage covenant is also sacred, a promise made before God. It also is
sacrificial. Each sacrifices their own desires to benefit the marriage, to become
one. Selfishness is a poison to marriage and to becoming one.